Jaggar just tried to castrate me, as I was leaving the kitchen,

with a stack of meatballs that I had just zapped for 2:11 in the

microwave. Just like B.J. Upton became a bad hitter in the MLB, this year, Jaggar has come to think that every time I step into the kitchen, he is supposed to get something to eat. It’s really a pain in the ass. Bitch is so demanding. I’m not sure what to do. Zap him with water? Step on the beast? I mean step on his tail lightly, you know, do something to show him who is the boss. Wait, no; that’s wrong. That is violent thinking and I will not have it.